Welcome!!
I'm so excited to be here and be sharing this adventure with all of you. I thought maybe I should start this journey off with a brief history of how we got here. As many of you know, I've gone through a rough time medically over the last few years. As a result, I'm now unable to have my own biological children.How it All Began
It started in December 2011. I was driving home from work one night and started getting a strange pain in my lower back. At first I thought it was a cramped muscle so I tried to stretch a little while I drove. Needless to say, it didn't get better and by the time I had gotten home I was in excruciating pain!! So much so, I had to call my roommate on my cell phone from the garage to come outside and help me. The pain was so debilitating that he actually had to carry me into the house. Thank goodness he was strong and I was little! When we got into the house I laid on the couch, put an ice pack on my back and called my parents. While on the phone with them the pain started to subside so we decided I should just go to bed and see how I felt in the morning.
Wow, when I woke up the next day I felt completely better. I made an appointment for three days later with my amazing GP but didn't really have any intention on going because I felt so much better. I decided I would go see my friend and chiropractor Jackie Perron. She's an amazing chiropractor and I know if she couldn't figure out what was wrong she could at least point my in the right direction. Remember, at this point I still thought it was a muscle thing or maybe I had thrown my back out... The second Jackie got her hands on my back she said she didn't think it was muscle or bone and that she thought it felt more like swelling. She sent me for an x-ray (to check for scoliosis, since it has been seen in my family before, just in case). She also strongly encouraged me to keep my appointment with my GP. To this day I thank Jackie!! I really think if it wasn't for her attention I would have put off seeing the doctor and this blog could easily have been "My Life with Cancer" instead of "My Beautiful Family". Ok, ok, I'm going to start tearing up soon so let's move on with the story!!
I went to that appointment and they tested for a few different things. Bladder infection, kidney infection, kidney stones, etc. My doctor (who is also amazing!!) also sent me for blood work and an ultra sound. The x-ray came back with very mild findings, nothing out of the ordinary and nothing to be at all concerned about. The blood work showed a high white blood cell count and elevated CA 125 levels. CA stands for cancer antigen and CA 125 is a marker that can indicate ovarian cancer. If you would like to read more about CA 125 I found this article informative.
The kicker was the pelvic ultrasound. I'll save you the details but I'll let you know that this is an external AND internal exam (use your imagination to discern what that means). I will admit this was not the most comfortable experience the first time around... as I'm writing this over 2.5 years later I can't even remember how many times I've had this exam and I could probably sleep through it if they would let me. Anyways, ickyness aside for now... After the exam the nurse asked a doctor to come and talk to me. The doctor told me that he could see a mass. That's all he could tell me at the time and I would need to see a gynaecologist to follow up.
That definitely put a damper in my day... I tried not to worry but it was hard. I actually found myself crying in the waiting room afterwards. The sweetest nurse came up to me and said she knew how scary it was but to try not to worry too much until we knew exactly what it was. She said worrying would seem silly after the fact if it was nothing and if it was something to be concerned about, worrying wasn't going to make it better. Throughout the next two years I would remember what that nurse said to me many times and it gave me a lot of strength.
Round One with Cynthia (Corey's Name for the Tumour)
That was December 23, 2011. A day that would make a huge impact on the rest of my life. It's surreal to think back now, only 2.5 years, and realize how much in my life has changed. In early January I had an appointment with a great gynaecologist (I know I say all my doctors are great, but they honestly all are!!). My mom came with me to the appointment, partly to support me and, I think, partly for her own sanity. The gynaecologist took her time explaining, very carefully, what the next couple of months were going to entail.
It went something like this...
Gynaecologist, "We can see from the ultrasound that you have a large mass attached to your left ovary. It looks to be made of two parts: a cystic component and a component of complex tissue. The complex tissue portion is the worrisome part."
The discussion went on to explain that the complex tissue portion had its own blood flow, which is not a good sign. She suggested surgery, and quickly. She wanted me to go get a CT to get better images of what she was dealing with, but eventually that would turn out to take too long for her comfort, so she ordered surgery right away. The surgery was supposed to be orthoscopic, meaning they would use small cameras and tools and wouldn't have to cut a big, intrusive incision. But we would soon find out that would not be the case.
On January 20, 2012 I had my first surgery that intended to remove the cyst and the tumour without, hopefully, damaging my ovary. What actually happened would prove to be quite different... As soon as my gynaecologist went in and saw the tumour she called her gyne-oncologist friend. She didn't like the looks of it at all. He came in to help with the surgery and that's when the table really turned. Not only were they unable to detach the tumour from the ovary without damaging it beyond repair, they also found two other tumours, one on my cervix and one on my right ovary. Not exactly what we were hoping for... This discovery meant three big things. 1) I would need to have a follow up surgery to remove the new found tumours. 2) Instead of a nice, tiny hole I had a large incision stitched on my abdomen from hip to hip (about 5 inches long). 3) I was now an official patient of the gyne-oncology department.
I had barely had time to get home and start recovering when I had to go back in for my second surgery. On February 3, 2012 doctors went in again to remove the tumours that had been discovered during the first surgery and biopsy lymph nodes and omentum. This surgery went at least went according to plan, but that plan involved a very large scar running north-south. This time it went from my belt line, all the way up and around my belly button. It was even prettier than the last one (hint: that was sarcasm).
While I was in the hospital the second time the pathology report from the first tumour came in showing it had contained only minute amounts of cancer, only 2-5 %. It was defined as something called a borderline tumour. I'll admit right now, I have asked my oncologist many times to explain what this term means to me and I have yet to fully grasp the concept. This website has helped me come to a better understanding of it. After the finds of the pathology, Dr. Nelson, my oncologist, believed there was nothing to worry about and that no chemo or other treatment would be required. YAY!
A Little Hiccup in the Plans
Once I was sent home from the hospital I was hoping for a quick recovery but I would be denied that luxury. I'll get to the best part in a few paragraphs but first let's start with when I first got home. During my stay in the hospital after my second surgery my dad got sick with a pretty bad cold and so he couldn't visit me. Well, when I got home I got a really bad fever 103 degrees and steady. My mom called healthlink and they told us to keep a very close eye on it and go back to the hospital if it got any higher or didn't break within 8 hours. It eventually broke, thank goodness!!! But then the cold started. It was win-lose. On one hand it meant I could finally see my dad (girls never stop needing their dad!) and watch movies with him (my new favourite became Water for Elephants that week) and on the other hand every time I coughed I felt like my stomach was going to rip right open and spill my insides onto my outside. OMG! It was the opposite of comfortable.
When I finally got over that cold I slowly started to feel better. My weight had dropped 20 lbs (as you can see in the photo above) over the month, I had no energy and the only way from here was up. I would even hesitate to say that I started feeling pretty good. Again, victory was shorter lived than I would have hoped and my back and hip started to hurt anytime I walked farther than 5 feet. Again, I went to my GP to discuss how to figure out what was wrong. Again, I went in for a pelvic ultra sound. Again, they found a mass, but this time it was in the void where my left ovary should have been and they knew it was a large abscess. They scheduled me to have a drain put in two weeks later.
In May 2012, I ended up back in the hospital with that infection. It had started to poke out my side and a friend drove me to the hospital immediately. They had to schedule and emergency drain (not going to lie, of all the pain of the whole endeavour, that was the worst!) Thankfully, once the drain was in, with the help of antibiotics, the infection went away. I stayed on oral antibiotics for a few weeks after. Then it was smooth sailing!! I didn't feel sick anymore. I had energy again. I was even able to go camping with my cousins two weeks later
Round Two with Cynthia
Skip ahead to the summer of 2013. Kyle and I started dating and everything was going beautifully, we were both extremely happy. Then, late in 2013, my GP thought it would be a good idea to send me for new baselines. That way, if anything happened again she would have a good idea of the starting point. Well, they found another tumour on the other side this time... By this point I'm thinking "(*@#&YP#(D(*&@_)!!!!" I was getting really fed up with having to deal with this. I tried to stay strong but every time something new came up with my health it was harder and harder to deal with. Kyle was so amazing and really helped me through it. Now that I had been through it once I knew what to expect, how much it would hurt and what to be scared of and he did an amazing job helping me stay calm and keep things in perspective.
We did briefly look into the option of egg harvesting prior to surgery but there were a few issues with that option. 1) There was a chance that the treatment could actually accelerate the growth rate of the tumour. 2) They were pretty sure, but not completely sure, that there were still viable eggs in my ovary but they couldn't say for certain because they couldn't actually see it. The tumour was blocking their view of my ovary. They were going off of hormone tests. 3) The process took about a month once it began and you had to wait for a certain time in the month in order to begin the treatment. That being said it was possible it was going to take close to two months to harvest. 4) After going to the information session and coming to a better understanding of what was involved in the process I was pretty sure this wasn't an option. Hats off to the women who go through that process. It's extremely invasive and I can only imagine how stressful it is. After putting all these issues together Kyle and I decided that we weren't going to go down that road. We decided if the surgeon had to take the ovary we would be ok with that and if he could save it we would start trying for children as soon as possible.
I will never forget the amazing "last dinner" he made for me the night before my next surgery. Kyle and a few of our friends made an amazing Japanese dinner. I even got presents!! New pjs, iTunes cards, sweat pants, a sweater (that I could put on over my IV) and a onesie. My favourite of the bunch was the whole line of Crazy Sexy Cancer books, an amazing series that I highly recommend to anyone touched by anything that's hard to deal with (not just cancer)! Having my friends around really helped keep me calm that night. The picture below isn't from that night but I feel it really grasps how much fun I have with my friends and family.
Then came the fateful day of truth... The tumour was successfully removed, along with my second ovary on December 4, 2013. The oncologist was amazed to find how large it had grown since we first found it and that it had grown to completely envelope my left ovary. When the resident told me the outcome my heart dropped. I had been preparing myself for this possibility but it was hard to imagine how I would feel if and when it actually happened. I shed a few tears and then I felt a wave of acceptance. It was strangely calming to know, definitively, the path that my life would take now. I've since watched and supported friends through miscarriages and it's a very different feeling. My heart aches for them and their loss but also because the idea of the unknown (Will they ever be able to get pregnant? How long will it take? Will they need drugs to help? What's next?) is the terrifying part. I know it's difficult for some people to grasp but, in a way, I am grateful that I know for certain and am not left wondering.
The pathology came back and revealed an inner cancerous part of the tumour. Thankfully, the cancer was contained deep within the tumour and the oncologist once again did not request chemo. Imagine a hardboiled egg... The cancerous portion was the yoke and the rest of the tumour was the white. In this way the cancer was contained and didn't have contact with any other part of my body. This meant no chemo, YAY!!
Moving Forward
This did leave me unable to have my own biological children. Kyle and I are not discouraged by this however, and are moving forward with our lives getting engaged in January 2014 (more on that later). I still have a uterus and cervix and could potentially carry and birth a child and IVF is definitely an option for us, but not one that we are interested in pursuing. My gut tells me, my body has been through enough. I don't have a desire to carry or birth a child (to be honest I've never been too keen on the idea of birthing). So, we are very excited to move onto the next stage of life by adopting!! The original plan was to start with China but that is no longer an option (more on that to come). The new plan is to adopt a child-in-need from Haiti and eventually also from Canada. The process of foreign adoption is very expensive, averaging $30, 000 when adopting from Haiti. We've set our minds and our budget to start saving for this expense and dream.
We invite you to be part of this journey by contributing to our dreams of expanding our family. Anything and everything helps! Feel free to contribute at http://gogetfunding.com/project/taya-and-kyle-s-adoption We would also love for you to follow us on our journey and follow our blog at http://mybeautifullyuniquefamily.blogspot.ca/
We are so excited to share in this amazing adventure with all of our friends and family and we hope that you will follow our blog and experience this with us.
We love you all!!
Taya (and Kyle)
