And the Ball is Rolling Folks!!

Sorry for the break in posts but we've had some big developments and I wanted to take some time to process all the information we got and make a well thought out decision about what our next step would be before sharing... That being said, we finally got to go meet with the adoption agency last month!!!

In Calgary there are three main adoption agencies; Adoptions by Choice (ABC), Christian Adoptions and Adoption Options. We were recommended to Adoption Options by a family we met through work who have four beautiful children, three of which are from Haiti. I have to admit with the busy schedules Kyle and I have it took a lot of shuffling and lots of phone tag for us to find a meeting time that worked for both of us within the agency's office hours. Once we finally were able to book a meeting I was really excited to take this next step!

Before we even met with anyone, they emailed us their information packages for both domestic and international adoptions. Each document was almost 50 pages (including the application packages) and loaded with information! As I read through the packages I found it helpful to highlight points I had questions about for easy access later.

When we got to our meeting everyone there was very nice and welcoming. They really made us feel at ease. Our meeting started with an overview of the program and the process. Let me say, by the end of it my head was spinning with all the information I had stuffed into my brain. It was really nice to have all our questions answered and get a better idea of what the process looks like.

INTERNATIONAL UPDATE:
So we've decided to put the international side of the adoption on hold. From the information we got it looks like you have to be legally married for at least 2 years before you can begin the process (except for American adoption). This was a little discouraging for us but we know its an option later down the road once we meet all the requirements. Through speaking with different people we've come to the conclusion that this minimum 2 year requirement (in some countries its as high as 10 years of marriage!) is because many of these countries don't recognize common law as a legitimate long term relationship. We respect this view and plan on looking into it again in a few years.

DOMESTIC UPDATE:
With that being said... we are going domestic!! The requirements to apply for domestic adoption are a better fit for where we are in life right now and so we've decided to go this route. This direction involves many steps.

Step 1/2: Apply and take a seminar.
The application includes things like our background, medical forms, T4s, household budget/net worth, police checks, child well fare checks, and a questionnaire for each of us regarding our relationship with our families. They also require three references. The biggest part is a letter to the birth parents. This is where we get to tell them about us, our lifestyle and our values in a nutshell. We are hoping to have this part of the process complete by Christmas.

We've decided to take the seminar portion second but at our agency you can take it in either order. The seminar is a weekend that explains the process in further detail. We will also get more forms at the seminar to be added to our application package.

Step 3: Home study
The home study takes 3 months and involves 3-4 interviews, one of which is in our home. The interviews add up to 9-12 hours. After the home study is complete they let us know if we are approved or not.

Step 4: Wait...
This is supposed to be the second hardest part of the process. We start at the bottom of the list and as people slowly get matched with children we move up the list. When we are a potential match with a birth mother and high enough on the list she will be given our letter. Then if she picks us we get to meet her.

We aren't going to gloss things over.... this process is pretty overwhelming and takes a lot of time and effort. We are so happy to have this opportunity though that we feel like we will/can do whatever it takes.

We will keep you all posted as we start checking things off the to do list!!

Has anyone else out there gone through this process?? Do you have any tips/suggestions/words of encouragement?

Love,

Taya and Kyle

Thank you for all your love and support!!
Interested in further supporting our journey? Please visit our GoGetFunding page.

Engagement Photo FUN!!!

For those of you that have been waiting for our engagement photos, here they come!!! We went to Lake Minnewanka for the photos (Dad's suggestion). It was so pretty up there, it was a great pick.

As some of you may know my parents love taking photos!! Both my parents are exceptional at different things regarding photography. My mom is good at taking a lot of quick shots to catch the moment, while my dad is amazing at composing beautiful shots (although a TAD slower). They recently bought a reflector that they hadn't had a chance to use yet so we brought that along too (below). Having a reflector was a little weird at first but eventually we got used to it and it was like it wasn't even there.

 

Step one was to apply lipstick obviously!! Mom was teasing that Taya's lips are so big it took forever to cover them with lipstick...

 

 

Another behind-the-scenes shot of Dad taking pictures. The lake was so beautiful, but we had a tricky time getting it in the pictures.

Part way through the shoot Corey got a hold of a camera and was instantly hooked. He couldn't stop snapping shots after that... and they're really good!! We might have yet another photographer in the family.

 

Corey managed to catch some head shots of everyone. (Clockwise: Dad, Mom, Kyle, David)

 

 

Testing the light, trying to find the perfect spot.

 

Corey and his boyfriend, David. We figured since we were all there we would get some pictures of Corey and David too.

 

The photographers at work.

Kyle leading us into the woods. This is actually where we ended up taking most of the pictures. The light was diffused and we could use the reflector to brighten our faces if needed.

Can you spot the Corey-bear in the woods?

Fooling around in the parking lot.

 

And here are our favourites of the real engagement shots!!!

 

Over-the-threshold pose...

Back-to-back pose...

This is actually from the leaning pose at a different angle when we thought the pictures weren't being taken and Kyle was pretending he was going to fall off the tree. We were laughing so hard!

We think we want to cut this shot a little more panoramic and get it put on a canvas for our family photo wall.

This one was also taken when we thought the cameras we down and we were just sharing a moment in the forest.

 

 

The last two seem to be the crowd favourites so far... but we are still torn. We love something about all of them.

 

Which one is your favourite???

 

 

Love,

Taya and Kyle

Thank you for all your love and support!!
Interested in further supporting our journey? Please visit our GoGetFunding page.

 

Engaged to be Married!!

We got engaged on January 22, 2014 but people keep asking us how he popped the question, so here it is!

 

As you know from our posts on how we met (his and her's), we both work at the same gymnastics centre. At the time of the proposal I knew Kyle had the ring but had no idea how he would ask. The last thing I was expecting was for him to do it at work. And because I'm so stubborn sometimes it almost didn't happen as he had planned.

Kyle had been planning it for a couple weeks: propose after work one night with a few of our close friends in attendance. Nothing too elaborate, just a few candles, a few friends, simple... Maybe in theory, but not in application.

 

That night Kyle and I had driven into work together. He was off before me though so he went home to make dinner and was supposed to come get me a few hours later when I was done. In typical Kyle fashion, he got distracted and dinner took longer than he thought so he was going to be late picking me up. I didn't think much of it, although I was very tired and wanted to go home pretty badly. I locked up the gym, sat on a mat chatting with some of the coaches and waited for Kyle to come get me.

After half an hour he still wasn't there (or so I thought) and I was starting to get restless. I thought it was kind of strange that some coaches were still hanging around, but then again it wasn't uncommon for us to sit around and chat after work. Two of the girls went upstairs into an office and started talking so loudly we could hear murmurs down stairs which, again, I thought was kind of strange but I brushed it off.

Then out of nowhere my friend (also a coordinator) comes barrelling through the front door. Now, it's important to remember that it's now 930 at night and she is never there that late because she comes in very early in the morning. This totally should've tipped me off but she was so frantic I got distracted trying to help her! She needed to find a sub for the next day and didn't have her laptop... Ok, I tried to get her to look at the schedule we have posted on the main floor but she said no. She needed a file that only I have on my laptop on all the staff... Ok, fine! At this point I think she's being kind of ridiculous but fine lets go up to the office and look quick before Kyle picks me up.

We get upstairs and all hell breaks lose! The girls upstairs had apparently been talking about one their boyfriends. When we get up there one of them is flat out balling her face off talking about how she's not sure about them, they never spend time together, they always fight. It was a bloody disaster zone up there! So we get completely distracted and try to calm her down and comfort her. I don't notice because our office is pretty tight to begin with, but they kind of barricade me into the room. We continue talking about boys for a while and I even offer to have the girl over for a glass of wine that night to continue talking. In the middle of this the other girl randomly gets up and walks out without saying a word, but I just assume she's going to the bathroom or something.

 

Then another coach pops her head into the office and says they need me downstairs. By this point I'm almost at my limit. Kyle is now 45 minutes late, I'm tired, I'm hungry and I'm putting out fires every time I turn around. I walk out of the office and the main lights are turned off and the boys have music blasting. I think WTF are they doing now?!?!?!... Then it hits me... This is it!!

I slowly walk down towards the music and as I turn the corner I see there is a trail of candles leading the way to Kyle, who's standing there in his singlet (gymnastics outfit for those who don't know what a singlet is)! I always thought I would cry tears of joy at this point, but I just had the biggest grin on my face ever. I walked down to him, taking it all in and as I did I see all our friends popping out from behind mats all over the gym and walking towards where we are going to meet. It was magical and so special. The song being blasted on the stereo turned out to be a song Kyle had written just for me, just for that moment.

When I finally made it to him he got down on one knee and said/did some pretty funny and cute things.

1) He said I'm the best catch since his Kovacs (gymnastics move).

2) He said penguins mate for life. To show who they want to be with the boy penguin searches high and low for the perfect pebble to give the girl penguin he loves. Well Kyle had done just that. He opened the ring box instead of my ring there was a little pebble. (Okay, I'll wait while you grab a tissue and say "Awe!")

3) Then he pulled out the real ring and asked if I would marry him. I said yes (who could say no to all the sweetness?!). We kissed and then...

4) Then Kyle cued the next song and Bubble Butt came on. We danced to it and then turned on the lights and had a tramp party.

5) Best night ever!

In talking to everyone after it seems Kyle wasn't actually late at all. I often go up into my office and answer emails before leaving for the day and that's when they were all going to sneak in and set everything up. Well, that night I was so tired I didn't go upstairs. The girls that first went upstairs were talking so loudly because they were hoping I would come up to see what was going on. When I wouldn't go the other girl that needed a file off my computer decided to try. In the end they didn't need a sub, the girl wasn't having trouble with her boyfriend and it was all a big plan to get me to go upstairs and get out of the way.

So there you have it, the story of our proposal. To everyone that helped, thanks for making my night so amazing!

Love,

Taya and Kyle

Thank you for all your love and support!!
Interested in further supporting our journey? Please visit our GoGetFunding page.

China Gets Knocked Off the List

Kyle loves Chinese everything! He took Tai Chi as a child (and now wants to start teaching it), can speak Cantonese, is going to school for Chinese medicine and loves Chinese culture. When we decided adoption was the route we wanted follow to grow our family, our first thought was of China.

We started looking into how the process works and aside from it being very expensive it is also very confusing. There are papers and home studies and more papers and domestic approval and papers and foreign approval and papers and referrals and more papers. After reading through a dozen sites that outlined the process, we weren't much closer to understanding how it worked and were starting to feel overwhelmed.

We found a site that outlined the approximate costs to adopt from each country, the average wait time and agencies that were accepting new clients. Well, while this website had some great information on it (sorry I didn't save it), this was probably the least fun part about this whole experience so far... China wasn't an option. Dun, dun, dun!

It seemed China had really closed ranks on foreign adoptions lately. This caused the wait times to extend to at least FIVE years! As a result, local agencies didn't have the capacity to hold any additional clients and weren't accepting applicants. So, even if we were okay with waiting that long, we couldn't even get on the waiting lists because those were full and not moving quickly, anytime soon.

To say I lost it at this point might be an understatement... You'll notice most of my posts are pretty happy and positive and that's because with regards to this topic I'm generally really excited to experience the journey and happy I have the opportunity to have a family at all. Once in a while though, I have a mini implosion. That's what happened on this day.

After reading enough to understand there was no way around this road block I shut down. I closed the laptop and became silent, as if we had decided to be done looking for now. I think Kyle could tell a storm was brewing. He asked me if I was okay and the tears started. At first it was just a little trickle, but before the conversation was over I would be flat out bawling my face off.

Emotionally, I felt pretty good through the whole first round with Cynthia. I was a little discouraged when I was hospitalized with an infection, but overall I was happy with how I dealt with it. Going into the second round with Cynthia I battled with quite significant fear and anxiety. Once the surgery was complete it was pretty smooth sailing, emotionally. I don't often get too upset about our situation.

When Kyle first asked if I was ok I tried to say yes and internalize my emotions. I thought if I could rationalize my feelings of disappointment I could deal with it myself and not make him upset. It was just too much though. I couldn't rationalize my way out of feeling disappointed and I needed to release the emotion (which I think is healthy in certain cases, this being one of them) and that release came out in a snotty, crying, yelling mess.

The emotions I was feeling were two-fold. Firstly, I was disappointed. We had immediately thought of China when we first started thinking adoption and it was heartbreakingly disappointing to learn it wasn't really an option that would work for us. As disappointing as it was, we knew there were other options and many children in need that would be a great fit for our family and who we would absolutely adore and that helped us deal with that side of things.

The second part of the emotional struggle hit deeper and was harder to rationalize/find a solution to. This was the creeping inclination that our lives were never going to work out, that every time we turned around life was going to slap us in the face again and we couldn't get away or control it. It was the feeling of complete failure and defeat. After dealing with blow after blow for the last two years, in that moment, I felt broken, as if the proverbial last straw had been hurled at me unceremoniously.

As I worked through this emotional labyrinth with Kyle that night, I realized I was terrified of how I would react at the next road block, because in the adoption process road blocks are inevitable. I didn't know if I could do it, if I could feel this emotional pain multiple times. We talked it through for many hours and a lot of tears and tissues and I refortified my emotional strength. This time though there was a built in softness for a few things. 1) a softness to allow myself to feel frustration or fear or sadness and accept, acknowledge and process those feelings, 2) a softness to allow Kyle to do the same, 3) (and I think most importantly) a softness to experience the process together as a team, enveloped in mutual love and support.

This road block was a breaking point for me that could have gone either way. It could have been the instant I decided I couldn't do it anymore and forced our journey to hit reverse. Thankfully, it was an instant that immeasurably strengthened my relationship with Kyle, my resolve to have a beautiful family and my growing love for my unknown children.


Love,


Taya (and Kyle)

Thank you for all your love and support!!
Interested in further supporting our journey? Please visit our GoGetFunding page.

What is family? - Taya

 

When I first thought about starting this blog, to share the story of our family with you all, I was a little nervous. I wasn't sure how it would be received by all of you out there on the internet. Would people think I was being a martyr looking for attention because of what happened to me? Would anyone be interested in listening to what I have to say? Would people laugh at me for being scared of what the future held or confused with the process? Would they think I was making the wrong choices? The more I thought about it the more I realized it didn't matter. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, including myself. This was what I wanted to do and what I felt was right for me and for my family. I have to say I was so happy with the overwhelming love and support you have all shown us. Thank you for that! Knowing the love and support that is floating around out there is truly inspiring. I hope my future children can one day feel that too.

Now-a-days families come in so many different shapes and sizes it's hard to keep track sometimes. So I thought I would share with you what family means to me, since my family will definitely not be "normal". The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines family as 1) a group of people who are related to each other (I'm assuming this means by blood but it could also mean legally) and 2) a person's children. To be honest, I was kind of expecting a definition with a little more meat to it, but it is what it is. Therefore, I would like to add my own definition to this: 3) a group of people who are tightly bound by love for one another.

To me, family doesn't necessarily have to do with blood or legal relationships. It should go beyond those social constructs and delve into relationships on an emotional level. I have one best friend who I would consider a sister. We love each other like sisters and we also fight like sisters. What makes her more than just a friend is that I know, no matter what happens we will always be there for each other. She was by my side everyday, sometimes all day, when I was in the hospital. She texted me everyday to see what I wanted her to bring me that day whether it be magazines, a blanket, socks or a Wendy's frosty. She even stayed with my mom and waited for me to come out of my second surgery.

She's currently 4 months pregnant and at first I thought that would be really hard to deal with. I mean, hell, I wish I could be 4 months pregnant too!! It actually hasn't been hard at all... I'm so excited to be an auntie nothing else could overshadow that.

I want my adopted children to feel that same connection, love and safety. I want to have a household where they can feel safe to be themselves and cultivate a love for themselves and others. I want to have a special relationship with each of them that fosters strong, confident children. Mostly, I want them to know that, although I don't even know them yet, I already love them more than anything and they can always count on me. In my mind family is more than blood and legal relationships. Its those people that you can count on no matter what. You can fight or disagree and still know that they will never turn their back on you.

Being able to be on this journey is a blessing and I can't wait to experience it, through the ups and downs, the awesome times and the crappy times, the road blocks and the highways. Welcome to the journey of my beautiful family (whatever that might end up looking like)!

What is family to you?? Share with me your thoughts on what makes a family in the comments.

Taya de Baat

PS. I thought I would share with you all that I spent most of my time writing this post crying. Crying from joy, fear, excitement and raw emotion. Tears are a great stress reliever. :-)

Funds Update: July



We thought it would be a nice way to thank you all for following us and being a part of our journey by doing a monthly update. As you know we are raising funds to help with the financial side of foreign adoptiong. We am so happy to report we have raised $200 online as well as $1500 offline and all in only 5 days!! You guys are so amazing and we are so happy our lives are starting to move forward.

Taya and Kyle

A Brief History... ok, Maybe not Very Brief

Welcome!!

I'm so excited to be here and be sharing this adventure with all of you. I thought maybe I should start this journey off with a brief history of how we got here. As many of you know, I've gone through a rough time medically over the last few years. As a result, I'm now unable to have my own biological children.

How it All Began
It started in December 2011. I was driving home from work one night and started getting a strange pain in my lower back. At first I thought it was a cramped muscle so I tried to stretch a little while I drove. Needless to say, it didn't get better and by the time I had gotten home I was in excruciating pain!! So much so, I had to call my roommate on my cell phone from the garage to come outside and help me. The pain was so debilitating that he actually had to carry me into the house. Thank goodness he was strong and I was little! When we got into the house I laid on the couch, put an ice pack on my back and called my parents. While on the phone with them the pain started to subside so we decided I should just go to bed and see how I felt in the morning.

 

Wow, when I woke up the next day I felt completely better. I made an appointment for three days later with my amazing GP but didn't really have any intention on going because I felt so much better. I decided I would go see my friend and chiropractor Jackie Perron. She's an amazing chiropractor and I know if she couldn't figure out what was wrong she could at least point my in the right direction. Remember, at this point I still thought it was a muscle thing or maybe I had thrown my back out... The second Jackie got her hands on my back she said she didn't think it was muscle or bone and that she thought it felt more like swelling. She sent me for an x-ray (to check for scoliosis, since it has been seen in my family before, just in case). She also strongly encouraged me to keep my appointment with my GP. To this day I thank Jackie!! I really think if it wasn't for her attention I would have put off seeing the doctor and this blog could easily have been "My Life with Cancer" instead of "My Beautiful Family". Ok, ok, I'm going to start tearing up soon so let's move on with the story!!

I went to that appointment and they tested for a few different things. Bladder infection, kidney infection, kidney stones, etc. My doctor (who is also amazing!!) also sent me for blood work and an ultra sound. The x-ray came back with very mild findings, nothing out of the ordinary and nothing to be at all concerned about. The blood work showed a high white blood cell count and elevated CA 125 levels. CA stands for cancer antigen and CA 125 is a marker that can indicate ovarian cancer. If you would like to read more about CA 125 I found this article informative.

The kicker was the pelvic ultrasound. I'll save you the details but I'll let you know that this is an external AND internal exam (use your imagination to discern what that means).  I will admit this was not the most comfortable experience the first time around... as I'm writing this over 2.5 years later I can't even remember how many times I've had this exam and I could probably sleep through it if they would let me. Anyways, ickyness aside for now... After the exam the nurse asked a doctor to come and talk to me. The doctor told me that he could see a mass. That's all he could tell me at the time and I would need to see a gynaecologist to follow up.

That definitely put a damper in my day... I tried not to worry but it was hard. I actually found myself crying in the waiting room afterwards. The sweetest nurse came up to me and said she knew how scary it was but to try not to worry too much until we knew exactly what it was. She said worrying would seem silly after the fact if it was nothing and if it was something to be concerned about, worrying wasn't going to make it better. Throughout the next two years I would remember what that nurse said to me many times and it gave me a lot of strength.

Round One with Cynthia (Corey's Name for the Tumour)
That was December 23, 2011. A day that would make a huge impact on the rest of my life. It's surreal to think back now, only 2.5 years, and realize how much in my life has changed. In early January I had an appointment with a great gynaecologist (I know I say all my doctors are great, but they honestly all are!!). My mom came with me to the appointment, partly to support me and, I think, partly for her own sanity. The gynaecologist took her time explaining, very carefully, what the next couple of months were going to entail.

It went something like this...

Gynaecologist, "We can see from the ultrasound that you have a large mass attached to your left ovary. It looks to be made of two parts: a cystic component and a component of complex tissue. The complex tissue portion is the worrisome part."

The discussion went on to explain that the complex tissue portion had its own blood flow, which is not a good sign. She suggested surgery, and quickly. She wanted me to go get a CT to get better images of what she was dealing with, but eventually that would turn out to take too long for her comfort, so she ordered surgery right away. The surgery was supposed to be orthoscopic, meaning they would use small cameras and tools and wouldn't have to cut a big, intrusive incision. But we would soon find out that would not  be the case.

On January 20, 2012 I had my first surgery that intended to remove the cyst and the tumour without, hopefully, damaging my ovary. What actually happened would prove to be quite different... As soon as my gynaecologist went in and saw the tumour she called her gyne-oncologist friend. She didn't like the looks of it at all. He came in to help with the surgery and that's when the table really turned. Not only were they unable to detach the tumour from the ovary without damaging it beyond repair, they also found two other tumours, one on my cervix and one on my right ovary. Not exactly what we were hoping for... This discovery meant three big things. 1) I would need to have a follow up surgery to remove the new found tumours. 2) Instead of a nice, tiny hole I had a large incision stitched on my abdomen from hip to hip (about 5 inches long). 3) I was now an official patient of the gyne-oncology department.

I had barely had time to get home and start recovering when I had to go back in for my second surgery. On February 3, 2012 doctors went in again to remove the tumours that had been discovered during the first surgery and biopsy lymph nodes and omentum. This surgery went at least went according to plan, but that plan involved a very large scar running north-south. This time it went from my belt line, all the way up and around my belly button. It was even prettier than the last one (hint: that was sarcasm).

While I was in the hospital the second time the pathology report from the first tumour came in showing it had contained only minute amounts of cancer, only 2-5 %. It was defined as something called a borderline tumour. I'll admit right now, I have asked my oncologist many times to explain what this term means to me and I have yet to fully grasp the concept. This website has helped me come to a better understanding of it. After the finds of the pathology, Dr. Nelson, my oncologist, believed there was nothing to worry about and that no chemo or other treatment would be required. YAY!

A Little Hiccup in the Plans
Once I was sent home from the hospital I was hoping for a quick recovery but I would be denied that luxury. I'll get to the best part in a few paragraphs but first let's start with when I first got home. During my stay in the hospital after my second surgery my dad got sick with a pretty bad cold and so he couldn't visit me. Well, when I got home I got a really bad fever 103 degrees and steady. My mom called healthlink and they told us to keep a very close eye on it and go back to the hospital if it got any higher or didn't break within 8 hours. It eventually broke, thank goodness!!! But then the cold started. It was win-lose. On one hand it meant I could finally see my dad (girls never stop needing their dad!) and watch movies with him (my new favourite became Water for Elephants that week) and on the other hand every time I coughed I felt like my stomach was going to rip right open and spill my insides onto my outside. OMG! It was the opposite of comfortable.

When I finally got over that cold I slowly started to feel better. My weight had dropped 20 lbs (as you can see in the photo above) over the month, I had no energy and the only way from here was up. I would even hesitate to say that I started feeling pretty good. Again, victory was shorter lived than I would have hoped and my back and hip started to hurt anytime I walked farther than 5 feet. Again, I went to my GP to discuss how to figure out what was wrong. Again, I went in for a pelvic ultra sound. Again, they found a mass, but this time it was in the void where my left ovary should have been and they knew it was a large abscess. They scheduled me to have a drain put in two weeks later.

In May 2012, I ended up back in the hospital with that infection. It had started to poke out my side and a friend drove me to the hospital immediately. They had to schedule and emergency drain (not going to lie, of all the pain of the whole endeavour, that was the worst!) Thankfully, once the drain was in, with the help of antibiotics, the infection went away. I stayed on oral antibiotics for a few weeks after. Then it was smooth sailing!! I didn't feel sick anymore. I had energy again. I was even able to go camping with my cousins two weeks later

Round Two with Cynthia
Skip ahead to the summer of 2013. Kyle and I started dating and everything was going beautifully, we were both extremely happy. Then, late in 2013, my GP thought it would be a good idea to send me for new baselines. That way, if anything happened again she would have a good idea of the starting point. Well, they found another tumour on the other side this time... By this point I'm thinking "(*@#&YP#(D(*&@_)!!!!" I was getting really fed up with having to deal with this. I tried to stay strong but every time something new came up with my health it was harder and harder to deal with. Kyle was so amazing and really helped me through it. Now that I had been through it once I knew what to expect, how much it would hurt and what to be scared of and he did an amazing job helping me stay calm and keep things in perspective.

We did briefly look into the option of egg harvesting prior to surgery but there were a few issues with that option. 1) There was a chance that the treatment could actually accelerate the growth rate of the tumour. 2) They were pretty sure, but not completely sure, that there were still viable eggs in my ovary but they couldn't say for certain because they couldn't actually see it. The tumour was blocking their view of my ovary. They were going off of hormone tests. 3) The process took about a month once it began and you had to wait for a certain time in the month in order to begin the treatment. That being said it was possible it was going to take close to two months to harvest. 4) After going to the information session and coming to a better understanding of what was involved in the process I was pretty sure this wasn't an option. Hats off to the women who go through that process. It's extremely invasive and I can only imagine how stressful it is. After putting all these issues together Kyle and I decided that we weren't going to go down that road. We decided if the surgeon had to take the ovary we would be ok with that and if he could save it we would start trying for children as soon as possible.

I will never forget the amazing "last dinner" he made for me the night before my next surgery. Kyle and a few of our friends made an amazing Japanese dinner. I even got presents!! New pjs, iTunes cards, sweat pants, a sweater (that I could put on over my IV) and a onesie. My favourite of the bunch was the whole line of Crazy Sexy Cancer books, an amazing series that I highly recommend to anyone touched by anything that's hard to deal with (not just cancer)! Having my friends around really helped keep me calm that night. The picture below isn't from that night but I feel it really grasps how much fun I have with my friends and family.

Then came the fateful day of truth... The tumour was successfully removed, along with my second ovary on December 4, 2013. The oncologist was amazed to find how large it had grown since we first found it and that it had grown to completely envelope my left ovary. When the resident told me the outcome my heart dropped. I had been preparing myself for this possibility but it was hard to imagine how I would feel if and when it actually happened. I shed a few tears and then I felt a wave of acceptance. It was strangely calming to know, definitively, the path that my life would take now. I've since watched and supported friends through miscarriages and it's a very different feeling. My heart aches for them and their loss but also because the idea of the unknown (Will they ever be able to get pregnant? How long will it take? Will they need drugs to help? What's next?) is the terrifying part. I know it's difficult for some people to grasp but, in a way, I am grateful that I know for certain and am not left wondering.

The pathology came back and revealed an inner cancerous part of the tumour. Thankfully, the cancer was contained deep within the tumour and the oncologist once again did not request chemo. Imagine a hardboiled egg... The cancerous portion was the yoke and the rest of the tumour was the white. In this way the cancer was contained and didn't have contact with any other part of my body. This meant no chemo, YAY!!

Moving Forward
This did leave me unable to have my own biological children. Kyle and I are not discouraged by this however, and are moving forward with our lives getting engaged in January 2014 (more on that later). I still have a uterus and cervix and could potentially carry and birth a child and IVF is definitely an option for us, but not one that we are interested in pursuing. My gut tells me, my body has been through enough. I don't have a desire to carry or birth a child (to be honest I've never been too keen on the idea of birthing). So, we are very excited to move onto the next stage of life by adopting!! The original plan was to start with China but that is no longer an option (more on that to come). The new plan is to adopt a child-in-need from Haiti and eventually also from Canada. The process of foreign adoption is very expensive, averaging $30, 000 when adopting from Haiti. We've set our minds and our budget to start saving for this expense and dream.

We invite you to be part of this journey by contributing to our dreams of expanding our family. Anything and everything helps! Feel free to contribute at http://gogetfunding.com/project/taya-and-kyle-s-adoption We would also love for you to follow us on our journey and follow our blog at http://mybeautifullyuniquefamily.blogspot.ca/

We are so excited to share in this amazing adventure with all of our friends and family and we hope that you will follow our blog and experience this with us.

We love you all!!

Taya (and Kyle)