Writing our letter to the birth parents

After our seminar the biggest next step for us is to write our letter to the birth parents. "It is primarily the young women who are reading these [letters], but the birth father or expanded family may also be involved..." (Information from our adoption package). This letter creates the first impression of us as a couple for the birth parents, so it is very important. Although our agency will give us suggestions if we ask, the letter is completely written by us and is meant to capture who we are.

While the letter can be typed or hand written, on plain or coloured paper, with graphics or plain, the length is specific. The written portion of the letter is recommended to be 1-2 typed pages or the equivalent if hand written. Shorter and it doesn't fully capture the family; longer and it becomes too wordy. They also ask you to include 4-6 pages of pictures. These can be embedded directly into the letter or added to the end.

We did major research before writing the letter. We wanted it to be amazing! The more we researched the more we recognized the best policy was to remain genuine and write from the heart. Worrying too much about what the birth parents were looking for wasn't going to be productive and wasn't fair to the process. In our letter we talked about how we met, what we love about each other, our childhoods, our hobbies, and our friends and families.We think the right match will be found when both sides are as honest and real as possible.

Birth parents are no different than any other parents, they want their child to be loved, cared for, safe, and happy.

Every circumstance that brought birth parents to adoption is different and so is what they're looking for in an adoptive family. For some being in close proximity to them, or practicing a particular religion, or being a certain age, or having kids already may be important. Sometimes it can be as simple as the adoptive father resembling the birth father, a dog in a picture triggering a happy memory, or an occupation of an adoptive parent being what the birth mother always wanted to be. It's so hard to say what will make a good match.

When our letter was complete we printed 12 colour copies, signed them and gave them to the agency. 6 will be kept in our Calgary file and 6 in our Edmonton file.

What makes your family special that you would want to share with birth parents?

Love,

Taya and Kyle

Thank you for all your love and support!!
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