What is family? - Taya

 

When I first thought about starting this blog, to share the story of our family with you all, I was a little nervous. I wasn't sure how it would be received by all of you out there on the internet. Would people think I was being a martyr looking for attention because of what happened to me? Would anyone be interested in listening to what I have to say? Would people laugh at me for being scared of what the future held or confused with the process? Would they think I was making the wrong choices? The more I thought about it the more I realized it didn't matter. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, including myself. This was what I wanted to do and what I felt was right for me and for my family. I have to say I was so happy with the overwhelming love and support you have all shown us. Thank you for that! Knowing the love and support that is floating around out there is truly inspiring. I hope my future children can one day feel that too.

Now-a-days families come in so many different shapes and sizes it's hard to keep track sometimes. So I thought I would share with you what family means to me, since my family will definitely not be "normal". The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines family as 1) a group of people who are related to each other (I'm assuming this means by blood but it could also mean legally) and 2) a person's children. To be honest, I was kind of expecting a definition with a little more meat to it, but it is what it is. Therefore, I would like to add my own definition to this: 3) a group of people who are tightly bound by love for one another.

To me, family doesn't necessarily have to do with blood or legal relationships. It should go beyond those social constructs and delve into relationships on an emotional level. I have one best friend who I would consider a sister. We love each other like sisters and we also fight like sisters. What makes her more than just a friend is that I know, no matter what happens we will always be there for each other. She was by my side everyday, sometimes all day, when I was in the hospital. She texted me everyday to see what I wanted her to bring me that day whether it be magazines, a blanket, socks or a Wendy's frosty. She even stayed with my mom and waited for me to come out of my second surgery.

She's currently 4 months pregnant and at first I thought that would be really hard to deal with. I mean, hell, I wish I could be 4 months pregnant too!! It actually hasn't been hard at all... I'm so excited to be an auntie nothing else could overshadow that.

I want my adopted children to feel that same connection, love and safety. I want to have a household where they can feel safe to be themselves and cultivate a love for themselves and others. I want to have a special relationship with each of them that fosters strong, confident children. Mostly, I want them to know that, although I don't even know them yet, I already love them more than anything and they can always count on me. In my mind family is more than blood and legal relationships. Its those people that you can count on no matter what. You can fight or disagree and still know that they will never turn their back on you.

Being able to be on this journey is a blessing and I can't wait to experience it, through the ups and downs, the awesome times and the crappy times, the road blocks and the highways. Welcome to the journey of my beautiful family (whatever that might end up looking like)!

What is family to you?? Share with me your thoughts on what makes a family in the comments.

Taya de Baat

PS. I thought I would share with you all that I spent most of my time writing this post crying. Crying from joy, fear, excitement and raw emotion. Tears are a great stress reliever. :-)